The minds eye lost

Have you ever wondered how much we deprive ourselves of of joy now days? We get so busy that we often times forget to ...Hows that go, take time to smell the flowers. I was reminded of just that, a few days ago.
 I had ordered some Chinese food the other day, and while I was enjoying my lunch to go, I reached into the sack to retrieve my favorite part, the crab ran-goo. I found it in a wax paper sack, with a lovely young woman on the wrapping.  
She was sitting on a formed garden tree playing a flute. It took me by surprise that it seemed so familiar. It was like, I was looking at a old memory that had come to haunt me. 

A sudden rush of unfamiliar flute music came to me, as if she was playing just for me. My mind started Drifting, as I found myself in feudal japan, with the garden enveloping me with its beauty. The scent of cherry blossoms filled the air, along with small birds singing their hearts joy, with the lull of the flute. It seemed to be overpowering my sense of time, and space. Letting my mind drift, I enjoyed the uplifting but haunting music, as it seemed to be overpowering my very soul. 

 I could envision her in a wonderful white silk kimono robe. The gray cranes, in stark contrast to the white, stood out so that with every subtle move they looked as if alive. her long black silken hair, was tied back to one side glistening in the morning sun. Her face devoid of all makeup, haunted, and intrigued me. Just what was her connection to my past, and what the story was that she had to tell me, was lost in the music. 

I was musing that my minds eye was playing tricks on me. When all of a sudden, the spell was broken by a lovely young woman, asking to sit on the park bench with me. 
She was of Asian descent, with long dark hair done up in a bun style. I said yes, it would be nice to have some company on such a beautiful day. She noticed that I was looking at the picture of the girl, on the wax sack in the garden. We both sat enjoying the warm sun with a touch of breeze. After a while, she could not help but ask, what do you find so fascinating about the picture on the sack. I said I don't really know. It seems so familiar to me, I know that sounds silly but, I have a haunting memory of her playing. Silly is it not? Do you know the melody she is playing? Yes , it came to me out of the blue, but I am sure that its just in my mind. She is after all, only a drawing on the paper. 

She said, I also have a vision of music she is playing. May I ask you to indulge me for a moment. If I would play what I think she is playing, would you be honest, and tell me if it is the same, as you imagine she is playing? Yes, but as I told you, I have never heard the music before. With that she said, wait here ten minuets I will be right back. OK, I will wait for a bit. 

I don't know why I said OK, but I was curious to hear her play. As time passed I again found myself in the garden listening to the young woman play. The music was as plain to my ears as if she was sitting next to me. I was suddenly brought back to reality again, by the voice of the woman who asked to sit by me. I'm back, and so glad you waited for me. Are you ready to hear my thoughts? Your thoughts? Oh, I mean what I think she is playing. Sure but their is no way that you could know the music in my head. We shall see, and with that she started to play. 

 As I listened to her play her flute, I was stunned. The music she was playing was exactly the same note for note. After a couple of minuets I stopped her. How can you know what I was hearing in my minds eye. Well this may sound strange, but when I looked at the picture, that is what I felt she was playing. The next thing she said was strange. Do you believe in old souls, and reincarnation? Well, I at times think that I have done something, or seen something before. Kind of like how you say Dasha Vu.  

 Exactly! she said. I believe that souls find each other over time again, and again. Just as we both know the music that is being played, we must have known each other in the past, and that girl on the bag playing a flute has brought us together again. Let me ask you have you had dreams of Arabic dancers?  And have you had dreams of brisk mountains winds on your face, dressed in silk, and furs staring into the sunset, over twin mountains? Who are you that you know that? She just laughed, and said, its just me again. 

What do you mean by that? Well let me tell you a tail of two lost souls. My dreams keep reoccurring that I was in a tent on the edge of the desert, when all hell broke loose, and everyone was killed except me. I was near death when a big burly man entered with a frighting mask, and dressed in leather armor. He wrapped me up and took me with him to the mountains. While nursing me back to health we fell in love. I learned his language, and we lived a long life together for many years.

 That is a lovey story, but what has that got to do with anything? Could you do me two favors, she asked? What the hell, I thought to myself, it cant get any stranger. Sure, why not. OK, first I want you to come to dinner tonight. I think you may find that you know, more than you know. What? Just come to dinner, please. We can talk more then. OK, give me your number and address. She quickly wrote them down, and said seven o'clock OK? And the second? It will have to wait till tonight.

As I arrived at her house, it seemed to have a strange sense of familiarity about it that I couldn't shake. I rang the bell, and when she answered I was stunned, and speechless to say the least.  She was dressed in a white silk kimono with shimmering gray cranes . She said, I am so glad you could make it, I have been looking for you for centuries. I said, yeah sometimes it can seem like that. No silly, come in please.

 Upon entering, I found that she had in display cases, very old Japanese armor, and several samurai swords. Please have a seat. I will fix you supper then we can talk. I was sitting, and listening to her talk as she brought me my food, when I was drawn to her, as if she had done this a thousand times before. Wow, Dasha Vu, I blurted out. That is when she looked at me and said, lets eat.

The table was typical Japan style just off the floor, highly polished. The meal consisted of two kind of fish, and rice. Along with the meal came Jasmin tea, and sake wine. As I inhaled the aroma, a strange feeling enveloped me as though....  I dismissed the feeling, and started to eat. We had small talk about the weather, and our work. When we finished eating, she gathered up the dishes, and said now for the second favor. Oh, and what would that be now? Well, actually two more, come with me. 

As I followed her to the room that had all the items on display, she said, pick one of the armor displays that you fancy the most. She had six displayed, and I immediately chose the one that I had felt drawn to, when I first came in. Good, Good. Yes, now to the other side for the swords. Again, pick the one you are drawn to the most . As I looked over them I asked can I touch them? Yes, Yes , by all means do so. As I felt each blade, none seemed to draw me, or feel right in my hand. I said they are all nice, but none strike my fancy, should I just pick one? No, no that wont do, wait a moment. she came back then said, shut your eyes, hold out your hands, and don't open your eyes. Now, as I place this in your hands, take it from the saya, and hold it with both hands in the air. OK, but I have to tell you this feels strange. Humor me please, I have waited so long for this. What do you mean? Just please, do as I ask OK? Alright.

As she placed it in my hands, it felt as if it was a old, old
friend. As I drew the sword from its saya, and held it up she said, Furederikku Ore no Kingu.  All of a sudden, my mind was awash with memories of the past. I am in feudal Japan, a samurai with the.... stop open your eyes return the sword to its saya. Stunned, I asked did I do something... Hush, hush, the look on your face told me what i need to know. Give me the sword, don't say any thing, just do as I ask please, and do not speak. OK. She walked over to the display cases, and removed the armor, come with me. She took me to a dressing room, and said take off all your clothing except your shorts, and t-shirt then wait, don't speak. I thought to myself, this girl is strange as hell. I wonder if this is some sort of role play. I thought to my self, its kind of fun. She came back with the complete set of armor, and dressing silk. This should fit like it was made for you. As she dressed me, it felt as though she had done this before. When she finished she said, good a perfect fit. Now, hold out you hands with your eyes closed. Draw the sword, and again raise it upwards. I did as she wished, and she spoke the words again in Japanese.

(Furederikku Ore no Kingu) this time, I was transported back in time to Japan. Living on the mountain side, with a woman by my side dressed in silk, and fur. It is Autumn, and a lite touch of coolness is in the air. I smell strong tea, and saka  in the air. A familiar sent is in the air from the woman next to me, who has my trust. Looking over the balcony, I see the beauty of the mountain peaks covered with snow. The sun is setting between the mountains. As the clouds gather she calls to me in a whisper saying, (Furederikku Ore no Ai, Ore Kingu), and I know what she is saying its, ( Frederick My love My King ). Then I hear a whisper in my ear. Open your eyes my love, I have found you again at last. And she was right, I did know more than I knew. I was a old soul as was she, both at peace at last. With century's of love lost, and found we were together again.

Ying or Yang Choice

The mind is like a pool of water. When it becomes agitated it is difficult to see the bottom of the pool. But if you allow it settle, and clear, the depth of the answer you are looking for will appear.
 Your life may not of had such a happy beginning. However, that will not define who you are. It is only the path in life you choose, that in the end will define who you really are. Anything is possible with understanding. To understand ones destiny, is a road less traveled by many. Finding your way to let go of the past, knowing those thing no longer matter, that the only things that matter are the choices you make now, and  that in itself will lead you to the destiny, and peace you seek. 
By moving on with your life, by letting go of the past, you become a better person. A enlightened individual if you will. By knowing that what you do now matters more now than the past, and that the choice you make now, can not only effect your world, but that of others, and will help guide you to make the correct choice. 
To be Happy or Unhappy, Content or Uncontented  Positive or Negative, To being Peace or Destruction. The choice is yours alone to make. Life is like a pool of water. The pool is formed one drop at a time. So to is life, each action becomes a drop. Each drop becomes part of the pool, blending, and flowing with the rest. Each choice you make, whether good or not so good, becomes part of the pool of life. Always remember the pool you create called life, defines who you are and if you have peace or turmoil in your life. So choose wisely the drops of life in your pool that others may see, as the drops define your very soul.

Fleeting Time

                                      Fleeting Time

Have you ever felt the world is moving to fast? I am sure, we all have felt that way at one time or another. I ... I just can not for the life of me, figure how all this has happened. You expect children to grow up, but, I mean, one day its grandpa this, and grandpa that. Lets go fishing grandpa. Can I ride grandmas bike? Show me how to make pancakes, grandpa, lets play catch! How do you throw a knife grandpa? Don't I look pretty with a flower in my hair grandpa? Lets make cookies grandpa. Grandpa, lets make a bird house. (I still have that birdhouse, and the fond memory's of its build) Don't grandma an me look alike grandpa? Lets play spider solitary grandpa, you know you want to, please. You got to love grand kids for their thirst for knowledge and their Unsustainable curiosity of life.   
As of late I wonder more and more if I have been asleep, and just woke up years later. I have two grown women and a young lady for grand daughters, as well as two grandsons. One who is taller than me (he has to be six foot) and the other growing like a weed, and in a couple of years will be taller than me also. His mom says he getting ready for a growth spurt. Growth spurt hell, they must be feeding the boys fertilizer, as it seems overnight, they have grown up tall, and still growing.
Still I can not for the life of me fathom how in the world time has slipped by so quickly. I mean, I have told others, enjoy them while you can they grow up fast, and dam it, time is a cruel mistress. She teases you with bits of  life, that you can never hold onto, except in the fleeting moments of memory in your mind. Then laughs at you, as you try to make sense of what has happened to the precious time, you made the most, of with them.
Still, all in all, it was a grand time we had, and will still have when they visit. Now I look forward to the sounds of great grandpa how do you do this? great grandpa can we do this or can we do that? Maybe, just Maybe, if I live long enough, I can cheat time, and enjoy the sounds of great grandchildren. 
That would be a blast!

Your Soulmate

When you are in love, they say the angles sing. That you see the moon in their eyes at mid noon. You believe they are a gift from god in heaven above, and you can feel their soul across the room calling to you. Their voice is sweeter than honey, and life itself is pure and simple. The touch of their hand can fire your passion, or sooth, and comfort your soul. You dream of only them, and live only to hear their voice, and see them again.

Do you remember that time when your eyes first gazed upon her? After Forty some years, I still do. You know that life is not that simple, and yet... with time you become as one. So much so, that it seems you know each others thoughts, as if you can hear what the other one is thinking. How many times have you been thinking about your other half, and she says, what did you say? Or it seems that she has called to you with out using her voice, and yet you hear her plain as day. This is what love is all about. It's about becoming soul mates, and being one with your other, to the point that no matter what happens in the world, you know, deep down you will always have each other. Even death can not come between the two of  you.

Damned Rain

It is in the late of day and still raining as I gaze upon the carnage of the day. Through the rain, the smoldering of cannon fire still lingering in the air. It has a acrid smell of gunpowder, mixed with the unmistakable smell of blood, and burnt flesh. The fences have bodies on them, and the valley has death written on it for all time. I see the wagons overturned, and some are still burning in the rain. The wounded still moaning for help as others are carried away. Some are dead, while others are dismembered. This valley was once a land of peace, till we came here. The rolling hills, and small creek running through this valley with its lofty soft pines, are now littered with broken men, and weapons of war.

 Men can do terrible things to each other in the name of god, and country, and never learn from their mistakes. The land however, heals itself, and re blossoms with life covering, all ravages man has done to it. Nether side won this day. Only death has won. The broken men, and cannons will be covered over with time, and no one will remember this day. It is raining harder now, and the creek is running red with bloody water. I think I will go back in my tent, and rest this shoulder wound. It is bleeding again, and my aid is worried. Brother against brother, father against son. Dam this war, and dam this rain.

The rain has finally let up. It's wet and mucky. Trenches are only good for killing you. The other side is using chlorine gas, and it hangs in the dam trenches blinding then killing you. No quick or easy death here, unless you catch a bullet. Even then, you might just linger on, and die slow, and painful of gangrene. War is a rotten way to try to settle a argument. Politicians never fight. If they had to, their would be less wars, and less lives lost. Dam... raining again. Now its going to get even colder, and the muck in the trenches will stick to us even more. Wait.. an advance on the other side in this rain. Are they nuts? Dam, I hate this damned rain, so cold so wet so miserable. Dam this rain, dam.


How did I get here? God, it so dam hot. This stinking jungle, I think every godforsaken bug on earth is here taking a bite of me. Dam, I hate this place. It's ether to hot or..... dam its raining again. Just great! I can't move from this spot. The bad guys are to close, leaches sucking my blood, rain running down my back, bugs biting, legs cramping, I hope they step into the trap we set for them. Pay back for tony. They got him the other day and..... dam what they did to him was inhuman. Half a click, that's all it was, and we could still hear him scream. We went out, and dropped a round in their lap. Poor guy, I hate this war. I hate this damned jungle rain. Go figure, it raining heavy now. I hate this rain.

Perfect Creek

It"s a beautiful fall morning with just a bit of cool crispness in the air. Just enough to wake you up, yet not enough to keep the fish from biting. The creek is crystal clear and about four to six feet deep. The fish are good size an look to be large bass, bluegill, and catfish, from what I can tell. Everyone says that the small creeks are not worth fishing.... well, to tell you the truth I am glad that they think that. Well, for now, lets try our luck. 
I am going to use a old trick that I learned from my grandpa. You take three number six bait hooks, and put them about four to six inches apart. The hooks have to be on a loop to swing free. Then, take about a inch of worm looped on each hook with about half of the worm free to move. Then flick it out, and let it float to the bottom. After a  minute or two, give it a lite tug, and let it float to the bottom again. It drives the fish nuts, and at times it never gets to the bottom. Its kind of like chumming with three chunks of bait.
What a beautiful morning to relax and enjoy some fishing. Aw man, It looks like I may have a problem fishing this morning. Old bear dog has decided he wants to go for a swim and chase the fish. Oh well, I love watching him chase minnows in the shallows. He caught one and you should see the look on his face as it wiggled on his tongue. You know that uckkkkoooo nasty look that's just plain funny.
Well, guess he got his fill of fun he is headed for the truck. Glad he is in the back, I at least wont smell of wet dog when we go home. Oh well, on to another creek.

The Healing

Cold steel will cut the flesh deep,and the wound will throb and burn. But the flesh will heal and scar, and fade with time and natures help.
So the question is, what will heal, what soothing balm will ease the pain of a lanced and wounded heart. What will heal the deepest wounds upon the deepest part of the ones own soul?
Marks upon the flesh will fade with the passing of time, and loss of pain. To be forgotten, and lost in the minds vast memory.
But, when the heart is wounded the scars, and pain remain unhealed long after the loss of one loved. And yet, even with time a heart may heal, although never will it be the same. For a love once found is never lost, it will forever have a name.

Fire Lake Revisited

We are back at the Lake. The cabin is so nice, and warm. As I look out the window, the view of the Lake is breathtaking. The snow is on the ground, just a light dusting. The trees have a light covering of snow on them, making the pines even more beautiful. The small Creek that runs by the cabin, has water trickling over the rocks. Even in winter, that stream still runs.

It's been two years since I met her, and now, here we are again where we first met a each other. As I recall, that was then the full of the year. Now here we are, close to Christmas, two years later. Time flies, when you are happy. The fireplace is so warm, and cozy. I had A new sofa brought to the cabin. A love seat, if you will. A beautiful hunter green. Of course I still have that old leather wing back chair, and I have added to the old bookcase. I never thought once, that we both could be so happy. She is in the kitchen, cooking something special she said. I don't know just what it is, but it smells really good. I just brought in more wood to get warm, and dry for later. The lake has spots of small ice on it, and with the reflecting sun on the ice, makes it looks like dozens of small rainbows twisting, and turning with the wind and current.


Lunch is ready, she calls. As I go into the kitchen I get a funny feeling, I cant put my finger on it as i sit at the counter she brings me my lunch, and whispers in my ear, surprise, close your eyes and smell. Do you remember? As I close my eyes and inhale deeply, I am shocked to find myself thinking of the first time we met. A picture her flying for cover behind the couch,with her black silken hair flowing wildly through the air, and bingo! It is the same as the first meal we ever had together. She smiles, and nuzzles my neck. Do you remember? she asks. Oh yes I remember, do we really have time for lunch? She Simply smiles and takes my hand then asks, shower first, and then... yes and then hot coco? That would be nice silk, that would be very nice. This cabin has magic in it. That magic you ask? Well that magic only comes from one person her name is simply.. Silk! My love, My life, My friend, Silk, a woman of amazing grace, talent, and most of all, Love.

Perfect Morning

 The morning sun is up thirty minutes ago. Just a bit of morning dew on the grass, and the deck table. I have a old Terrie cloth towel to wipe off the dew from the table, and my old captains chair. Yes, that will do, that's dry enough for what I want.

 The sun is peeking through the old maple, and buckeye tree leaves, spotting the deck, and table with rainbows of light. As I walk back into the house for a hot cup of Irish tea, with a touch of sugar, and grab a book, and magazine. My buddy, old bear dog (half Rottweiler half German Shepard) wants to go with me. He gives me that look, I can not refuse. You know that look. The one that begs to go with you, and makes you feel like a heel if you don't let him go with you. So out we go, just me, and my bud.  

 As he busts down the steps looking for a squirrel to chase, I set my tea, and books down, then head back in to get me some toast, and homemade grape jelly with real cow butter. Nothing beats that for a morning treat.  

The morning air is sweet, and crisp. The lilacs, and tulip trees, are in full bloom, making the air sweet. I have catnip, and lemon balm growing by the steps, that also lend a sweetness, and tart crispness to the mix. Bear is done wolfing, and looking for the squirrel that torments him, and the wife while she is trying to relax, and read in the mornings. It shucks the husk off the walnuts right above her head, and chatters at the dog just to have his morning fun.

 Some day, I will get that furry little knot head, and bear can get his revenge at last. But for now, its just me, and my bud, enjoying this beautiful morning. I think we might go fishing a while after bit, we have nothing else to do today, and that sounds like a lot of fun.
You just have to love a perfect morning, they don't last that long, or come around everyday.